Second Chances
by ahlewis32
Summary: Finn the mage finds that second chances, while rare, are so worth the effort. In celebration of my thirtieth anniversary of marriage. For Andy, with love


**Second Chances**

It hadn't been the life he ever dreamed he'd have. After all, a Circle mage was just that, a Circle mage, stuck in the Tower until he died. Chance had been good to Finn and he would take advantage.

After the adventure in the thaig and the Wastes, he'd accompanied Arianne to her clan and was pleased to present them with the tome they had recovered with the help of Queen Sarina. Arianne had shown him the delights of her clan, her people, and of herself. However, as he found out, a Circle mage is not a welcome in-law, so he and Arianne had parted company and he returned to Vigil's Keep. He'd been alone since, studying and discovering new ways to help in the fight against the darkspawn. Alone, that is, until he met her.

Her name was Brenna, a force mage from the Kirkwall Circle. She'd been transferred to the circle in Ferelden to bolster its strength after Uldred's failed takeover and to teach others her force mage talents. The Wardens had discovered her shortly after and she'd joined their ranks temporarily as a scholar and tutor. As head of the research team at the Keep, Finn found himself working with her constantly, much to his discomfort. He was head over heels in love with her.

She was nearly as tall as he was, with dark red hair that she tied back loosely most days. Strands would fall out of the messy style and frame her face, getting in her way as she worked. Finn found it fascinating.

One day as she was concentrating on a particular passage in a spell book, he reached out to touch her hair as it flowed out of the ponytail. It felt like silk on his fingers and all he wanted to do was pull out the lanyard and run his hands through it. Brenna looked up at him suddenly as he stood there, her hands going to her hair, "Is something wrong Finn?

"N..no. I was just…noticing that your lanyard is breaking," he stuttered out, too ashamed and embarrassed to merely compliment her on the beauty of her hair.

"Oh," she replied, "Thank you, Finn. I'll take care of that," her voice trailed off as she considered him and she returned to her work leaving him embarrassed at being caught.

And then there were her eyes. Deep green pools of emeralds, or so he'd written in his last poem dedicated to her. They were more than just an attractive feature on her already beautiful face; they were mirrors of his soul. Finn had gotten to where he couldn't look her in the eye without going slack jawed and slavering. He was convinced she thought him a total idiot.

On another evening, as he sat in the common room playing cards with Nathaniel and Anders, Brenna came in from the library side with Velanna. The two mages had Oghren pour them a couple of ales from the large keg on a side table and sat nearby with Sigrun, The three were soon giggling and talking as girls do.

Finn had watched her enter and cross the room, his eyes never leaving her. "Your deal, Finn," said Anders. When Finn didn't pick up the cards he snapped his fingers in front of his friend's eyes, "Finn! It's your deal." Finn turned toward the voice, his face rapidly turning red. "What's the matter with you lately?" asked Anders, disgusted.

"There's nothing the matter with me. Why do you say that?" Finn asked.

Anders laughed, "Well, let's see, you hardly eat, never pay attention when anyone talks to you, don't sleep, and that poetry you write stinks something awful. Who is she?"

Finn went on the defensive, stammering out, "She? There is no she. Why would there be a she?"

Nathaniel laughed at his reaction, "So it's a he then?"

"NO! It's not a 'he' either. What do you think I am?"

Anders looked at Nathaniel then back at Finn. "Okay, okay. So tell us, who is she? It's that new mage, isn't it?"

"Why would you think it's her?" inquired a defensive Finn.

"Maybe it's because ever since she arrived you've been acting like you're in love with her, that's why." Finn's eyes grew big at Nathaniel's words and his mouth opened to speak, but Nathaniel spoke first, "Relax, Finn. You aren't the first to fall in love nor the last. It's a normal part of life."

Anders smiled, "Remember how King Alistair was when he came to visit the commander? He'd be all drooling and attentive, fawning all over the woman. Then later, the sounds that came from her quarters. Maker, the man could make her moan! Totally besotted, the both of them."

"It's not like that! She's…she's a friend, that's all. Someone I work closely with," he defended.

"…and would like to work even more closely with. Perhaps at night?" injected Nathaniel, causing both he and Anders to burst out laughing.

Finn had had enough, picking up his coins and leaving the table. He stopped long enough to glance at Brenna, then shook his head dejectedly and left for his quarters, leaving laughter in his wake.

Brenna had heard the laughter as Finn left and watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was a nice looking man, young and strong, with short, well-kept bright red hair and light brown eyes. She had heard he had been involved with a Dalish warrior and had followed her to her clan, living among them for a time before returning to the Keep, alone and unhappy. He'd been alone ever since they said.

She liked his look very much; he was kind and so very smart. Brenna had decided she would have him, if he would have her. The problem was whether he wanted her.

"Now's the time to strike," said Velanna.

Brenna turned her head back to her friend quickly, "What do you mean?"

"He's in love with you, you know," laughed Sigrun as she drew another drink from her mug, "He writes poetry to you."

"He writes….what?"

Sigrun laughed harder, "Poetry. Really horrible stuff from what Anders says. He has it so bad for you."

"You should strike while you can, Brenna. He will not expect it," added Velanna.

"Finn is not an enemy to do battle with Velanna, nor is he a writer. He's a scholar and a mage, like me." With that said she rose from the table and stomped out, the other girls giggling as she left.

Brenna turned to go to the room she shared with Sigrun when she saw the door to the Keep's gardens standing open. Going to the door, she decided to take a stroll to clear her head and come up with a plan.

There he was, sitting on a bench in the corner, looking up at the stars. She stood quietly in the dark, watching him as he sat, when suddenly he said, "Oh Brenna! I do love you so!"

Brenna was taken completely aback. Hearing it from her friends was one thing, from Finn himself was another. He loved her, and was miserable without her. Perhaps Velanna was right; the time to strike was now. She snuck back through the door and tiptoed back to her quarters, formulating a plan.

#####

The next day had them both in the library researching a poison that was supposed to be more effective against darkspawn. Brenna was sitting at the large table across from Finn as they studied the tomes they had recently received from Queen Sarina. She looked up at him while he studied, watching the way his lips pursed together when he was concentrating. His hair needed cut and kept falling into his eyes in a most attractive way making her want to run her fingers through it.

Brenna stopped herself as the more provocative thoughts entered her mind. "This has to stop," she thought. "Finn?"

"Mmmm?" he replied as he continued to read.

"Do you have any special plans for tonight? After supper maybe?"

Finn's head snapped up and his face began to turn a bright red. "Uhhhh. No, not really. Why?"

"I was…well, I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me after supper. Perhaps in the garden? I have a bottle of wine I've been saving and I'd like to share it with you. Would you?" she asked hopefully.

Finn felt like his head would explode. She'd asked him to walk out with her! His dream had come true; now to keep from messing it up. "Ummmm…yes. I'd like that very much. Shall I meet you?"

"After supper, the bench by the old fountain. Do you know where that is?"

He nodded. "It's a date then. I…look forward to it."

Brenna smiled and turned back to her book, "It seems an infusion of deathroot and lyrium is the key but how did they come up with that?"

#####

That night Finn was so nervous he couldn't eat a thing. Anders remarked that something was up with him. While extremely fastidious about his appearance, he had bathed that afternoon then stayed in their shared room until supper time, afraid to leave for fear he would get dirty again. Not the typical Finn over-compensation Anders was used to seeing.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to stay clean," Finn told him. To which Anders shrugged his shoulders and left for a meeting with his latest romantic conquest.

When supper was over, he saw her get up and leave, heading for the garden door as planned. He sat for a few minutes longer, listening to Oghren finish his latest dirty story. Then, excusing himself, he followed her out the door.

Looking through the door, he spied her, sitting in the moonlight, her hair glowing like a halo around her head. She was so beautiful; he thought he'd die from happiness. He stepped out into the garden.

"I thought you weren't going to come," she said as he approached.

"I…I couldn't do that to you," he replied.

"Would you like some wine? I'm sorry but I forgot to bring some glasses. Is out of the bottle okay?"

Finn smiled, "Sure. I'm not much on the protocol for garden drinking so I suppose that will be fine."

Brenna laughed, "Then out of the bottle it is," and she handed it to him.

He took a long drink, nearly choking. Brenna patted him on the back as he coughed, then took her turn. They continued to stroll along, eventually leaving the garden and entering the bailey, talking of plants and the Circle, mages and the Wardens and time passed quickly, they were enjoying themselves so much. Soon the bottle of wine was empty and they found themselves in the stables.

Brenna was giddy and just a little drunk when she suddenly reached up and gave Finn a kiss on the cheek. "What was that for?" he asked, stunned.

"Oh, I thought I'd thank you for a lovely time. If you don't like it…." she trailed off.

It was more than Finn could stand, "Not like it! Why, of course I…" All at once, he took her by the arms and pulled her closer, lowering his lips to hers.

Brenna's hands come up from Finn's chest to encircle his neck and she sighed as he deepened the kiss, teasing her lips open for him. They stayed like that for the longest time, clinging to each other, each one exploring the other's mouth, finally breaking apart to catch their breath.

"Finn, would you like to….? Here?" she asked.

"Yes, I would, very much," he answered softly. She took his hand and led him to a ladder, climbing up ahead of him. At the top she cast a light spell to illuminate, waiting for him to join her. A large pile of hay was sitting in the corner with two blankets lying on top of it. "How did you….?" he asked.

Brenna smiled, "I came up here this afternoon and left these for us. I wasn't sure if you would come though. You aren't regretting that you came, are you?"

Finn put his hand on her cheek and she leaned into it. "No, Brenna. I'm very happy to be here with you." He brought his mouth back down to hers and took her lips, clumsily guiding her to the blankets. She lost her balance and grasped his robe, pulling him down with her. They tumbled into the hay in a mass of arms and legs, laughing and giggling.

She reached up and pulled the lacings of her dress, loosening them so the garment hung off her shoulders. Finn ran his hand over her skin, marveling in its softness. She sighed as he lowered his lips to her shoulder and kissed her there.

Brenna brought her hands up and loosened the buckles on his robe, pulling it apart to expose his chest. She ran her hands over the exposed flesh, listening to the quick intake of air as he stopped kissing her long enough to enjoy her touch. Soon she was unbuckling him farther down.

Finn took the initiative at last, pulling the laces on the side of her dress and pulling it over her head, leaving her in nothing but her shift. He pulled his robes off, tossing them aside, and he took her down to the blanket, claiming her mouth along the way. They continued to kiss as they ran their hands over each other, touching everything they could, their passion building.

Just when neither could stand it, Brenna raised her shift and pulled it over her head, allowing her breasts to come into contact with the skin of Finn's chest. Both of them moaned as they reveled in the contact. He bent down and suckled her nipples, licking them as she arched into his mouth with a whimper. She reached down to stroke him through his small clothes, feeling him grow hard with her ministrations.

Finn stopped and looked at her, "Are you sure? I mean…I want you but I want you to want me. I know it sounds stupid…."

"I do want you, Finn. That's why I'm here," and she kissed him to show him how much.

"Maker!" he exclaimed and bent down to return her kiss. Brenna moaned into his mouth, then reached down and tugged at his smallclothes.

Finn released her long enough to pull them down for her, then reached up to pull on hers. Completely naked, he moved between her legs, positioning himself over her, his member pushing at her sex. With a last look at her for approval he slowly entered her, pushing lightly so as not to hurt. She was tight and warm and he felt he wanted to stay there forever.

Brenna moved her hips forward to accept him fully into her. He groaned as she did, trying desperately to maintain control. When it failed, he spilled into her without so much as a stroke, calling her name.

His head came to rest on her chest as his breathing slowed. When he realized what had happened, he began to turn red with embarrassment, practically jumping off her. He snatched his robes and smallclothes up and began to stammer, "I…I'm…so sorry. I…Maker! I screwed this up! Forgive me!" With that he donned his robes and climbed down the ladder, leaving Brenna alone and in tears.

#####

The next days were miserable for Brenna. Finn had volunteered for a trip to the Dragonbone Wastes with a group of Wardens. He had mentioned to her that he had been asked to go but had turned them down in favor of continuing his research with her. Now he was gone and she knew she was the cause.

At supper one night, she sat alone, picking at her food when she heard a voice next her say, "As your healer, I recommend eating as a sufficient method of taking in sustenance."

Brenna looked up to find Anders smiling at her as she sat wallowing in her despair. "I'm sorry, Anders. I was…preoccupied. I promise I'll eat something."

Anders sat down next to her. "And here I thought Finn was in this by himself. Just the other night he comes back to the room all flustered and upset. You'd think he'd just killed the Commander's Mabari hound the way he carried on."

"What do you mean 'carried on'?"

"I swear it was like we were apprentices again, worrying about our latest exams. He was pacing and praying, wringing his hands and mumbling something about it being 'his fault.' Later in bed, he was crying. What happened with you two?"

Tears started to form in Brenna's eyes. Finn thought he was a failure because he came too soon. "It's…well…its private, Anders. Finn wouldn't want me to tell you."

"I see. Well, I do know this. Second chances are hard to get, but they are well worth the trouble. Perhaps you could find a way?" he asked.

Brenna nodded then kissed Anders on the cheek. "You know, you really aren't as bad as everyone says you are."

He smiled and leaned in closer, whispering in her ear, "Don't spread it around. I do like that reputation." She laughed and promised she wouldn't. Now she had work to do.

#####

Three days later, her plan was ready. Brenna had agonized over a way to get him back and now she knew, they would literally start over, from the beginning.

Finn had returned the day before, filthy, tired and cranky. Nathaniel told everyone he had come close to killing the mage on numerous occasions just to put him out of his misery. "He needs to get laid. And fast!" he remarked to Anders and Oghren that night at supper. "What did she do to him?"

For his part, Finn was holding up worse than anyone could tell. Sleep eluded him and when it didn't, he was cursed with dreams of Brenna in various stages of undress, laughing at him and his sexual ineptitude. It was more than he could bear. He made an appointment with the Warden Commander to ask if he could return to the Circle.

That night, as he sat in the common room eating supper with Anders and Nathaniel, he spied her, sitting with Velanna and Sigrun as usual. She had untied her hair and it was streaming down her back in waves, like a dark red waterfall of satin. Her dark blue green gown was cut low on the neck and was belted with a dark green sash the exact color of her eyes. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

For her part, Brenna had been primping all afternoon for that evening. She had bathed in rosewater, scented her hair and dress with lavender, and had brushed her hair until her scalp hurt. It had taken both Sigrun and Velanna's skills with a needle to help her finish the dress in time for his return to the Keep. It still had pins in it as she sat in the common room, and Brenna had to be careful how she moved to keep from getting stuck. "He is worth it all," she thought, "and more."

Brenna picked lightly at her food, glancing up from time to time to spy on him as he sat there, watching her. Just when she thought he was coming around, he rose from his bench and abruptly left the room. Brenna's heart sank as she watched him leave, her sorrow complete. Sigrun put her arm around her as Brenna murmured, "He hates me."

Anders watched his friends and their misery, shaking his head at their foolishness. In all the years he'd known Finn, he had never seen the man not act honorably in any situation. He looked over to Brenna as she sat, tears in her eyes, "Follow him," he mouthed to her. "Now!"

Brenna decided she had had enough. She excused herself from the table and ran out of the room, heading to her quarters, when she spied the garden door open. She tiptoed out of the Keep and into the dark, listening for him.

She found him on the same bench where she had spied him before, his head hanging low. He looked so sad and lonely that her heart wrenched at the sight. Finn raised his head and there were tears in his eyes. "He thinks he failed me," she thought. She slowly stepped out into the moonlight. "Finn?"

His head shot up as he beheld her, so beautiful and, to his thoughts, unattainable. Brenna walked to him and came to stand next to him, looking down into his eyes. Her fingers brushed the hair away from his eyes, lingering on the strands. Finn closed his eyes and prayed it wasn't a dream.

Brenna leaned down and placed her lips on his, lightly and tender, and he let out his breath and opened for her. When she pulled away he sat for a moment with his eyes still closed, fearing she would be gone when he opened them. She reached down and took his hand in hers, whispering in his ear, "Come with me," he nodded and rose, allowing her to lead him.

They walked quietly to the stable and climbed the ladder to the loft where the blankets were laid out for them. Brenna turned to him as he stood there, his eyes wide as he looked upon the location of his greatest failure. He started to turn away and leave her when she caught his hand. "Don't go, please," she begged.

His hands shook with fear and his emotions threatened to get the better of him. "Why?" he asked simply.

"Because I love you, Finn. Please love me," was her reply.

"Maker, how can you love anyone like me? I….I can't even…"

Brenna smiled, "Is it because you finished…early?" He nodded and hung his head. She put her hand on his chin and raised his head, "You should know I feel honored that you wanted me so much that you couldn't wait. It has nothing to do with being a failure and everything to do with love, Finn. Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world! I'm miserable without you, Brenna," he replied, taking her into his arms.

"Then we shall start over." She took his hand and led him to the blankets, "Finn, would you like to….? Here?"

"Yes, I would, very much," he answered, bending down to kiss her.

#####

Years later Finn and Brenna wondered what they would tell their children about how they met if they ever asked. Brenna had the solution, "We'll tell them second chances are hard to get, but well worth the trouble. All they have to do is find a way. They are worth it, don't you agree?"

Finn looked down at his wife and smiled, "Well worth it."

***In celebration of my thirtieth anniversary of marriage.  
For Andy, with love**


End file.
